Earlier this year, several women accused Bollylomo (Gbolahan Olatunde) of sexually assaulting them. These alleged situations ranged from using alcohol to incite sexual activity, inviting them over in the guise of friendship or starting consensual activities with them and then extending that into practices they had not consented to. This was not the first time Bollylomo was accused of sexually assaulting womxn. He had been accused once before, in 2018 as being a perpetrator of similar crimes. In 2020, he responded to these allegations by posting an affidavit claiming he will be seeking out court justice against his victims. Immediately after, he went into hiding. I have chosen not to link any of his social media as a means of ensuring no clicks come his way from me.
Numerous womxn, with similar credible experiences, came out to share their horrible experiences with this one man. This was during a time where conversations surrounding sexual assault and harassment were routinely being had on social media platforms such as Instagram and Twitter. Of course, a lot of people postured and nothing tangible came from their ‘denouncing’ of sexual assault. I noticed that several of my mutuals on Twitter were still following his profile. This spurred a conversation about why people are usually so reluctant to de-platform and what this means in the long run for the accused abusers’ credibility in question.
A lot of times, we rationalize the reasons people are reluctant to de-platform known abusers and chuck it up to being unable to verify the allegations. This is a very convenient take, especially when we live in a country with a less than suitable justice system. In fact, even in countries where there are systems in place, various victims find themselves unable to ‘win’ during trials. But how can they? Various systems are still stacked against womxn and other people who belong to marginalized communities, making it harder for ‘justice’ to be served. And even before legal action is taken, sexual assault and harassment against womxn are already tried in the courts of public opinions with insensitive and obtuse phrases such as ‘what was she wearing’ and ‘womxn need to choose better men’.
Society as a whole has accepted sexual violence towards womxn as a core facet and we almost, unfortunately, expect it to occur. TV shows such as ‘Law&Order: SVU’, do not even being to scratch the surface of what it means to be a marginalized victim reporting some sort of sexual assault. In countries where sex work is criminalized, it is virtually impossible for sex workers to ever come forward about sexual crimes against them, while in the line of their business or outside of it. It is painfully clear that the bodies of womxn are to be landing spots of trauma, violence and violation. With all this context at hand, it begs the question why we still entertain, engage and follow known abusers offline and online.
Now, after a shocking but much-expected exit from social media, Bollylomo is back with a video posted on his Instagram with a fake-deep voice over and a pensive walk in the sand, explaining why he needed to “take a few steps back”. There is absolutely no mention of his victims or the ‘legal steps’ he claimed to have been pursuing once the allegations arose against him. Unsurprisingly, he is welcomed by a bunch of content creators, the majority with massive followers themselves. Not only are they giving him their co-sign, which means they are not only legitimizing his own platform, but they are also signalling to their own followers that this person is ‘alright’. The thing about sexual assault is that it stays with you. It permeates every aspect of one’s life, even when the survivor might feel like they have healed.
Bollylomo has not felt the weight of any hurt, in fact, he has barely felt the grunt of accountability that people swear outing abusers brings. His friends have not stopped speaking to him and while his money may have been affected for a little while, it is all going to keep pouring back in now.
It is reprehensible to suggest that there is any real support for survivors or that people being sure a person is an abuser dissuades them from getting involved with said person. Even now, people have personal experiences with Bollylomo where he was harmful during parties they attended and yet still laughed with him afterwards. At the heart of it, we all are wired to support, defend and coddle abusers and we must all fight against the urge to do so lest sink further into the abyss that is rape culture.
