You might be asking yourself, “who asked for this?” if you’re a hater. To answer your question: the streets. The streets hit me up at 2:22 in the morning and said, “When are you going to drop the Tiwa Savage astrology content? We’re starving.”
It’s time to chop, my babies.
Let’s start off with an easy one–Pisces is very, very moist. I mean, they’re a water sign, so that’s not surprising. Pisceans are dreamy, they are romantic, and they are exactly the type to say some dramatic shit like “save my life, if you want my body better hold me tight” as if a simple, “I like you a lot, come give me a kiss” wouldn’t be enough.
Sagittarius is always going with the flow, which is great if you’re looking for a (very brief) entanglement. They are adventurous, constantly looking for the next thrill. As a fire sign, Sagittarius may be drawn to a little bit of danger, and in their mind a little temptation never hurt anybody. As Sam Smith croons, “even though I know it’s wrong, I just give into the shape of your body”.
It would be really cliche for me to say that Capricorn is all about their bag, but sometimes things that are cliche are true. Capricorn does NOT play with their money, and though they may seem quiet, they will air you anyday if you play with their bottom line. When Tiwa said “you see my goons, they be rolling”, I know that every Capricorn felt that.
There is nothing more Gemini than openly bragging about blowing the national budget like trumpet. Literally no one else is that bold, or that shameless. Remember when Kanye West was like “PETA mad cause I made a jacket outta’ possum”? Remember how wild that was? Think about like, any Kanye lyric actually, or literally anything Kanye has ever said–that’s gemini energy. That’s Koroba energy.
Leos love attention, and these days, nothing gets you more attention than a big butt. That goes for all genders too–if you say you don’t like your men with more cake than sweet sensation you’re a liar and an enemy of the people. Repent.
I know that you thought I would say Cancer, because dangerous love is so sweet, and we don’t associate Scorpios with having any feelings at all. As a licensed Scorpio-logist (don’t ask for my qualifications, you’ll only embarrass yourself), I’m here to tell you a little known fact: Scorpios are actually very moist. Like, super moist. Baby-wipe moist. A Scorpio will form bad guy for you on Monday and by Friday they’re trying to start a family. We have to laugh.
One thing about Aquarius, is that they will move on. If you step one toe out of line, they will go on their merry way–you might think that you’re very smart and that they don’t see the games that you’re playing, but they’re making a very detailed list. And when all is said and done, they won’t even cry about it, because they’ve been warning you. So “you better fix it before you make a sister change”.
You know what I said about Aquarius’ and not taking your shit? I think that’s just an air sign thing, actually. Except Libras will give you the benefit of the doubt. You won’t catch an Aquarius calling your phone “two-four-seven”, because they would rather chew grass than show you that kind of vulnerability, but unlike Aquarians, Libras are actual human people with feelings. They’ll give you a chance to meet them halfway because they are all about balance. And then they’ll get bored of you and dump you anyway.
All I’ll say is “don’t try me, I’m a bad bitch, you don’t wanna try me, show me love, talk to me nicely”. That’s the Virgo mantra. When they brush their teeth, that’s what they say to their reflection in the bathroom mirror. It’s morning devotion for them. They say something like that, and then they say amen. They probably hold up a picture of Beyonce as they say it. We should all fear Virgos tbh.
Cancer is the human equivalent of that one song by Rihanna. Very “I hate that I love you” energy. I’m an Aquarius, so I can’t relate, but you know…if you like it, then I love it. If this is your “crying while drinking wine and watching romantic movies” song, then more power to you. You should dump them, though…
One of my favourite things about Taurus (apart from the fact that they always know the best places to eat) is their ability to manifest what they want from life, and lay down the foundations to get it. That’s a very earth sign trait, but Taurus has a uniquely lush imagination, and they’re a little kinder to themselves if things don’t work out exactly as they planned. They will be the first to remind you that “everything we go through has its purpose”
Second verse, same as the first…OK, OK, let me explain…I’m talking specifically about Naira Marley’s verse. I think maybe Naira Marley just gives me big Aries energy in general–it’s like if a puppy was a person, that makes sense…
